Throughout my “adult” life I’ve had a pretty good idea about where life is taking me, where I’m heading, and what I’m doing.
Ever since I was 16, I’ve pretty much had a clear vision about how imagined things would turn out (academically and career wise anyway), I’ve had a few setbacks and my academic plans have changed, resulting in my career plans changing. And it’s okay, because it’s not like they changed for the worse, they simply just changed.
I am not resistant to change, and really we shouldn’t be, because:
1. Nothing lasts forever
2. We don’t always get what we want in the first place
However, I’m used to having different aspects of my life neatly divided and separated into compartments; my family, fiancé, friends, studies, work etc. each have their own compartment, but over the past few months it’s almost like someone has emptied all these compartments in to a big box and shook the hell out of it! *panic attack*
And because everything at the moment seems a little messy to me, I’m getting a bit overwhelmed (in the least Drama Queen way possible, I hope!); and the events that are due to happen in my life will result in changes that I look forward to and am excited about, but at the same time, scared of.
Although I am blessed enough to say that I am surrounded and supported by those who love me, for some reason I’m finding it difficult to get any one of them to really understand what I’m going through. Thankfully, I’m not exactly going through something really hard or traumatic. And obviously, change isn’t always negative, but just the fact that it is a change or transition of some sort makes it difficult to some extent, and any difficulty takes its toll mentally and emotionally.
And although you may have at least one person that you can rely on no matter what, but sometimes even that person doesn’t fully understand. Despite everything, change is inevitable; and when you’re dealt a hand, you just keep playing, even when it feels like the cards are constantly being shuffled and the ones you’re holding keep changing beyond your control.